19 June 2016
What makes 6 years of marriage for us- 3 kids. 2 countries. Several house moves.
What I learnt marriage after 6 years of being with E- Alot of compromises and the power of forgettory. We compromise on things we cannot agree on. We forget bad stuff- hurtful things that we said and obviously don’t mean. And most importantly, no matter what happens, we got each other’s back.
The day when people get married, they usually think they got everything figured out. Love! Most people marry people whom we love and reasonably believe can keep our marital vows with. And then, ta-dah! Here comes marriage…the thing that comes after wedding day. The fact that we have to live with this one special person till the end of time is not so bad if all things remained the same. However, that is not plausible with so many variables in life.
Marriage is hard work. It is about choosing to stay with this person in both good and bad times. Good times is easy but relationship do get testy during difficult ones. The notion of romantic love is insufficient when you are facing three young children, piles of dirty laundry and cooking to be done. This 6th year of marriage, instead of sharing our daily struggles(plenty!) and how our daily text messages look like a grocery list, I would like to take some time to give thanks and blog about some wonderful things about the man I married.
E is either a very forgiving or forgetful person. During heated arguments, my words can be as sharp as knives. Yes, I am a horrible person!!! I think E don’t usually take much to heart. He is usually quick to apologise so as to soothe any tensions before trying to convince me his point of view.
Growing up, I have low self-esteem about my looks and weight. E was the only boyfriend who accepted me for who I was then. 10 kilograms heavier now, E still tells me, with a hug no less, that I am the most beautiful person ever. Whenever he tells me that, I will roll my eyes and look away. But deep down, it means so much to me. Even when I tell him that I should be losing 5 more kilograms to be in the acceptable weight range, he tells me that I am fine the way I am as a mother of 3. I really love him for this. xxx
Whenever E have had good dining experience, he is always keen for me to go for it with him. Between us, I am the one who is more tight-fisted. But, being in a marriage with an ever-optimist is not without its merits. Instead of always going for cheaper eats, I get reminded to experience the nicer part of life. It is also nice to know in I am included in his thoughts when it comes to food! Heehee.
E believes in me, even more so than myself. He praises me when we are with our family and friends. He loves my cooking. My baking. He is very willing to buy me any sort of baking accessories, the latest being my Cusinart bread maker. He thinks that I blog well. He is still convinced that I will be able to write a book despite not seeing one chapter of it. Maybe he is disillusioned but I know that he is proud of me as his wife.
The children love him whenever they spend time together. Ryan loves Lego-building with his Dad. Gillian loves Saturday pancake day with E. Megan gives such a lovely smile when she sees E coming home from work in the evening.
Moving forward, it is very likely that things are still going to remain the same. The stress of being a young family is not going to dissipate any time. Hopefully, I pray that I will be able to grow more into my role as a Christian wife. That is the ideal and I hope that with God’s grace, I would be able to just be a better, appreciative and supportive partner to E.
Happy 6th Anniversary. It has been crazy 72 months of so many, many things. Thank you for committing your life to me. If we are lucky, when we do grow old together, you will have a more mellow-me to talk to, to listen to music with and maybe dance with. For now, let’s enjoy what we have and embrace ourselves for more adventures!
ilu. always and forever.