Gratitude

August 2017

For far too long I have intentionally ignored blogging, even though it was the platform that allowed me to gain some sort of perspective in my life, to share my views with friends and strangers and also to be thankful.

I love social media. I love Facebook. I love how this tool has allowed me to gain insight into the lives of my friends and even people I don’t know about. From these random snippets, I form incredulous ideas of how their days went and what their beliefs are about. Sometimes, I get inspired. Admittedly, there are occasions where I get demoralised, envious and (insert any negative feelings), which is why I decided to take a hiatus from blogging.

It is not that I do not have anything happy to share about! I have so much to be thankful for but I chose to pay no attention to them. Writing gives me clarity. Not writing also meant my days were spent in a sort of haze.  There are incidents that I want to pen down but I disregarded my feelings because I felt that blogging/writing was just too self-indulgent and to some extent, curated. As compared to my older posts, I was much more careful in sharing, especially with regards to my children. I was very begrudging of my writing. There is a part of me that prides myself for being authentic. If I cannot have that element in my writing, then why even bother? I opened up WordPress several times and left too many drafts. I wrote on a few pages on a couple of notebooks and left them aside. I constantly questioned my purpose of writing- why do I even want to blog or write?

Today, I blog because it is a space for me to take count of what I have, to realise that I have many to be grateful for, to share my laments but also remember that God has a plan for me and my family. To bear in mind that I am not alone.

*****

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And so, many of you would have known that my family and I are back in Singapore. It has been 2 month-ish! Wow! How time flies! My children miss London and their Yiyi/God-ma but I have to get them to reflect on what they love about Singapore as well. They love their Gong Gong, Mama, Er Jiu and Isaac. They love swimming! Boy! They love swimming! The older two are water babies! After only 4 lessons, Ryan’s swim coach has recommended him to attend an advanced swim class coming Sunday.  They love the food in Singapore- I mean, who doesn’t? Singapore is a food paradise. Prata, noodles of all sorts- wanton noodles, breakfast beehoon, fishball yellow mee and so on, carrot cake-the Chinese type, chicken rice, sushi at very reasonable prices and of course the list continues. As Ryan is older, his understanding is much better. He misses his classmates and his lifestyle in London. He tells me about how much he misses his old life. On my part, there is pretty much nothing I can do about it except to tell him that being together as a family unit is the most important.                                                       

We are temporarily put up at my parents’. 5 of us are living in my old bedroom and it is as chaotic as you can imagine. It is a a small space and having the older ones adjust to my 3 young rugrats is a challenge. Living together meant everyone have to adjust their lifestyles and expectations- to take the rough with the smooth. E and I appreciate my parents’ kindness of accommodation but we are excited to be moving into our new place. Oh yes, this year has been totally crazy on sale and purchases of houses. Don’t even get me started on that. The new abode is a much bigger space than our previous place in Singapore. E bought me an oven! Yay! I cannot wait to start baking! We will only be getting the keys late August and hopefully, renovations can begin in September.

It is interesting when we go furniture shopping and notice how much our styles and choice of furniture evolved over time. For our first home, we were very into the Teak Minimalist look. Please don’t even judge me for that term- I was just a pretentious 24 year old then.  Simply put, just meant having teak furniture and a Balinese feel. Ha! Now, most of our choice furniture has to be as kid-friendly as possible- no sharp edges or dangerous spots. At our new place, we intend to keep the toys in the kids’ rooms as much as possible! *crossing out fingers* (You can read here on my extensive documentation of our first home. Try your best not to roll your eyes!)

Faith wise, my family and I have sort of settled in church that my parents and brother attend. The church is literally at our door steps and there is no good reason to not attend on that is just located so conveniently for us. While the style of worship is not what we are used to, it is okay as long as God and the Bible is central of the entire worship. Going to church is always a good reminder for me- that what I have now is only possible because of God’s grace and kindness. The children are familiar with the Sunday School routine and we are reasonably pleased with how our Sunday pans out.

In the coming year, I will be moving towards a different career journey, which I hope would be a more flexible choice for my family as well as personal growth. Truth is, I am excited. But just like the worry wart that I am, I have endless concerns. My dear friends and readers, I just hope you keep me and my family in positive thoughts and prayers. 🙂 Gambatte! I will do my best, work hard, by trusting God and always be thankful for His Grace.

*****

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