7th!

August 2017

1

84 months and counting… 

We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on the 19th June 2017 and it took me almost two months to blog about it. And still, I think marriage is hard work. Marriage, with three young, boisterous children is requires great effort, loving hearts and also constantly reminders of how God is the central of our lives and relationships.

Truth is when we got married, I don’t think we know each other very well then. Barely into a year of dating, he proposed. We were so young and definitely infatuated with each other. Then, we started our wedding and house preparation. Before two years of knowing each other, we were married.  One year later, pops out our first baby. Then, came the second. And now, our last *fingers crossed*.

There are too many a times where we have disagreements. I get mad. Annoyed.  Frustrated. There are also angry words. But, I also know that E must be someone incredibly special to me- because he is always the first person I want to call when I have good news or something to share. Like everything is just better with him. For example, when we went for the trip in Devon, the view from our caravan was breathtakingly spectacular. It is one of those scenes where your eyes literally soak in the beauty of nature and marvel at how good our God is. But I know the experience of being there with E makes everything better, legendary even. Even winning him at Scrabble makes the challenge sweeter! #justsaying

IMG_1844

While I look forward to retiring with E, maybe doing some sort travelling or lazing by the beach together, I know right now, we are also at an enviable time of our lives. With the children and their innocence. Being relatively young(I love being in my 30s!) and able to do many things with our little ones. Exciting days ahead, my love.

The best is yet to be.
I love you as sure as the sun rises and sets.
As definite as a rainbow after a heavy downpour.
Always.

18950925_10154750574305885_5259004387168510273_n

******

Click on these links to read about our 1st-6th wedding anniversaries. 

1st
2nd
3rd
4th
5th
6th

******

Advertisements

The 6th Year

19 June 2016

What makes 6 years of marriage for us- 3 kids. 2 countries. Several house moves.

700_8737

d3s_1747

d3s_1518

What I learnt marriage after 6 years of being with E- Alot of compromises and the power of forgettory. We compromise on things we cannot agree on. We forget bad stuff- hurtful things that we said and obviously don’t mean. And most importantly, no matter what happens, we got each other’s back.

****

The day when people get married, they usually think they got everything figured out. Love! Most people marry people whom we love and reasonably believe can keep our marital vows with. And then, ta-dah! Here comes marriage…the thing that comes after wedding day. The fact that we have to live with this one special person till the end of time is not so bad if all things remained the same. However, that is not plausible with so many variables in life.

 Marriage is hard work. It is about choosing to stay with this person in both good and bad times. Good times is easy but relationship do get testy during difficult ones. The notion of romantic love is insufficient when you are facing three young children, piles of dirty laundry and cooking to be done. This 6th year of marriage, instead of sharing our daily struggles(plenty!) and how our daily text messages look like a grocery list, I would like to take some time to give thanks and blog about some wonderful things about the man I married.

E is either a very forgiving or forgetful person. During heated arguments, my words can be as sharp as knives. Yes, I am a horrible person!!! I think E don’t usually take much to heart. He is usually quick to apologise so as to soothe any tensions before trying to convince me his point of view.

Growing up, I have low self-esteem about my looks and weight. E was the only boyfriend who accepted me for who I was then. 10 kilograms heavier now, E still tells me, with a hug no less, that I am the most beautiful person ever. Whenever he tells me that, I will roll my eyes and look away. But deep down, it means so much to me. Even when I tell him that I should be losing 5 more kilograms to be in the acceptable weight range, he tells me that I am fine the way I am as a mother of 3. I really love him for this. xxx

Whenever E have had good dining experience, he is always keen for me to go for it with him. Between us, I am the one who is more tight-fisted. But, being in a marriage with an ever-optimist is not without its merits. Instead of always going for cheaper eats, I get reminded to experience the nicer part of life. It is also nice to know in I am included in his thoughts when it comes to food! Heehee.

E believes in me, even more so than myself. He praises me when we are with our family and friends. He loves my cooking. My baking. He is very willing to buy me any sort of baking accessories, the latest being my Cusinart bread maker. He thinks that I blog well. He is still convinced that I will be able to write a book despite not seeing one chapter of it. Maybe he is disillusioned but I know that he is proud of me as his wife.

The children love him whenever they spend time together. Ryan loves Lego-building with his Dad. Gillian loves Saturday pancake day with E. Megan gives such a lovely smile when she sees E coming home from work in the evening.

****

M23C8145

Moving forward, it is very likely that things are still going to remain the same. The stress of being a young family is not going to dissipate any time. Hopefully, I pray that I will be able to grow more into my role as a Christian wife. That is the ideal and I hope that with God’s grace, I would be able to just be a better, appreciative and supportive partner to E.

Happy 6th Anniversary. It has been crazy 72 months of so many, many things. Thank you for committing your life to me. If we are lucky, when we do grow old together, you will have a more mellow-me to talk to, to listen to music with and maybe dance with. For now, let’s enjoy what we have and embrace ourselves for more adventures!

ilu. always and forever.

****

The 5th Anniversary!

19 June 2015

20150619_181737

Here’s me and my love at Sticks’n’Sushi, Greenwich for our 5th year anniversary dinner. 5 years of marriage is not a long time but feels that we have done so many things together, almost having to make major decisions every year. I suppose to a certain extent, both of us took a leap of faith. Within 11 months of knowing me, the very brave E decided to propose to me and the infatuated me agreed enthusiastically. Looking back, I do feel that we were quite impulsive but thankfully, with God’s grace, things have worked out.

I suppose once can never know a person enough before marriage. Dating and marriage are very different stages. When we were dating, all we needed to care about was just the feeling of being in love, to constantly find ways to make your partner feel happy and surprised. During that period, E and I were just like any other typical couples in Singapore- we like to cafe-hop, we like to discover good hawker delights in Singapore, we dance, we enjoyed the night life and went for movies. There were very little concerns except for the fact that we were growing side ways.

The dynamics of a relationship changed when we got married and had kids very quickly. The focus of each other had to be shared between our lovely new additions as well as running of a household. Once upon a time, presents from Tiffany and Chanel would be very welcomed, they were almost like an indication of love. Now, what brings a smile to my face would be knowing that E goes off to work for our family, coming back to help me with the chores and spending time with Ryan and Gillian. The old me would totally have scoffed at how much I have changed over the years. I suppose my language of love have changed.

As a couple, we have experienced the most number of changes in these two years of our lives in London. One of the best thing that happened to us is perhaps starting to attend church and experiencing how Christ has worked in our lives and that of our children’s. Okay, to qualify myself, we are still pretty much the same. None of us has learnt how to speak in tongues or  even read the Bible daily. But, I suppose at least we are learning to lead more God-centric lives by remembering God in our everyday lives. We discuss about the messages being shared during Sunday sermons and also what we learnt during bible studies with our pastors. Somehow, having Christ in our lives brought some sort of peace in our relationship. While we still have our arguments and rolling of eyes, nothing seems to be that serious that cannot be resolved with God in mind.

God has been very faithful to our prayers and I think E definitely interested in opening up to Christ in his life as well. (Erhm… he used to be a rather strong atheist.) So, it is amazing how much things has changed. From my end, I will just have to continue to pray for a mentality to have God in the center of our relationship and family and that I will be a more supportive wife to E in our lives.

And so, dearest Mister E,
thank you for these 5 years of giving and love.
Lets welcome our 5th year year with our little new addition soon!
ilu, always and forever.

*****

Click on these links to read of my blog recounts of past anniversaries!
First: 1st year wedding anniversary
Second: 2nd year anniversary at Ao-Chan
Third: Terrific Three, Just what I was looking for
Fourth: Anniversary lunch at Tajima Tei

*****

♥ Anniversary Lunch at Tajima Tei!

June 2014

DSC04130

DSC04131

DSC04132

DSC04134

DSC04136

DSC04137

DSC04138

 E and I left the kiddos at the creche and had 4th year anniversary lunch at Tajima Tei.

DSC04146

So here’s to the number 4! Thank you for working so hard for the family!
ilu!

****

DSC04153

After lunch, we took a short stroll to Japan Centre as I needed to get some ingredients for the sushi that I was supposed to make for Ryan’s class. Went to pick the kids up pretty soon and boy, they were glad to see us. ♥

****

Just What I Was Looking For

19 June 2014

DSC02614
(The kiddos, enjoying their Daddy’s time.)

E is someone I was looking for 24 years. It took me that long to find my other half and I am glad I found him. Because with him, everything is just better.

I have been trying to write my blog post on our 4th year of marriage. I have drafted countless posts, deleted so many paragraphs because I thought it just did not express how happy and thankful I am in this marriage. Just the other day, I was having some breakfast with my Spanish neighbour, overlooking the Thames. We talked about so many things, like our children, of the controversial move of NLB burning the certain books, about our lives in London and also how we found the love of our lives.

Sharing our love story made me recall how amazing and magical our chance encounter was. I am not sure about E but it sure felt right when I saw him. I always told E that I wished that I met him earlier. We would have done more things as a couple and maybe travelled more. Being the supportive partner that he is, he would definitely encouraged me to work harder in university. However, E, always reminds me that it is our past made who we are now. Without failed relationships, meeting wrong people and going through certain life experiences, I would not have known that E was the gem that he is.

****

Right now, I truly cannot imagine a life without E. He may be many things but he is the love of my life.

Here’s a list of what I love about this man whom I married…

wedding2
(19 June 2010, at our first house.)

1. E still accepts me for who I am. It is a very fortunate thing to find someone who loves me for who I am, who sees the positive side of me and who always comfort me when I am down. He brags about me all the time. He will be the first to tell everyone on how my cooking has improved and how I doing an awesome job as a mother. He always tells his friends,”老婆最好!” and he constantly tells me that he appreciates me, my cooking, and how I am spending time to care for the kids. In fact, he is my biggest fan, next to my mother. (Actually, it would be a tough fight!) 😛

4
(February 2009, Chinese New Year at Uncle Amos’)

2. He cares about my family. If you know me well enough, I am very close to my family. He always asks how is my family doing on a daily basis. In fact, he loves listening in to my conversations with my mother. His love for my family itself is gold.

DSC02712
(Me, enjoying my SAHM job. The best job in the world!)

3. He is a man of his word. One of the best things that happened to me is that I am given an opportunity to be a Stay at Home Mom. The initial plan was to retire me by the 5th wedding anniversary. However, I was able to pursue my dream wayyy before our 5th year. Like Yay! I know there are a number of naysayers, thinking that I have wasted my education. The truth is that I have never been happier. To be able to send Ryan to school, to be able to sit on the sofa and read to Gillian, to be able to run the bath for the children, to be able to watch them play… how are all these activities not a dream come true for me? I never suffer from Monday Blues. I treasure every moment of being with them and watching them grow and interact with me. All these are possible because of my dearest E. Thank you, Lao Gong for working so hard to make us happy.

DSC04339
(July 2014. Us, at Hewitt’s farm.)

4. E is passionate about us. He works hard to give the children and me a good life. He would rather be with me, Ryan and Gillian than anywhere else. After a long day with the kids, cleaning and cooking, it is nice to have someone bursting through the door looking forward to see our faces.

DSC08436

5. I love how he is committed to the marriage. He thanks me at the end of all meals. He asks for my opinions. When he is running late for work, he will text me to let me know. Throughout the day, he will whatsapp me to let me know that he is thinking of us. Even before he returns home, he will text me “omw” or asks me if I needed anything from the supermarket.

2
(July 2014. Strawberries picking at Hewitt’s Farm.)

6. The children love him so much. Ryan, in particular looks up to him. E is very imaginative and comes up with the best bedtime stories. He does get distracted playing his games on the phone and that annoys me quite abit. I cannot judge him on if he is a good father. As long as the children loves him, he is one.

6
(October 2009. Searching for Halloween costumes)

7. He has a good heart. Whenever we talk about current issues, his opinions usually sway towards helping the weaker members of the society. He will be the first to want to donate to some cause or another. He is a good role model for the children.

4

1

8. On most days as a SAHM, I look a distant memory from how I used to look like when we were dating. These days, I am usually without any makeup and my hair is all scrunched up in a ponytail. Not the most attractive sight of me. But, E still thinks I am beautiful. Or at least he pays lip service to me.My favourite praise is when he tells me that I am still very hot to him. Hahhaha. I am superficial, just like that.

8

mayandeugene

9. He gets me. And I get him. We are that comfortable with each other that we are able to finish each other’s sentences or know each other’s thoughts. Our favourite movie is Before Sunset. He likes salty food while I prefer sweet desserts. He doesn’t mind that I whine very often. Both of us love Wikipedia. We read. We are able to discuss current affairs. He is good at reading maps while I am clueless. He doesn’t mind me gushing over Harvey Spector from Suits. E loves bringing me to nice places to eat. We have a common idea of what does “nice place to eat” means. Food is more important to us than ambiance or presentation. We prefer spending on the kids over ourselves.

DSC09914

7

10. He looks forward to grow old with me. We are always making plans for the future. I suppose in a way, he sees a future with me in it. And, he is definitely in mine as well.

***

Happy 4th Year, Mister E.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.

ilu.

****

Terrific Three!

19 June 2013

And so, this year marks our third year of marriage. It is not a long time but sure felt that we have done too many things in a mere 3 years.

40952_419469210884_907276_n
19 June 2010– Our wedding day!

DSCF1388
19 June 2011– Lunch at Salt Grill and Sky Bar

DSCF0948
19 June 2012– Dinner at Ao-Chan

When I first met Mister E at Azzucar at a salsa party on 21 August 2008, I sure did not know that I was going to marry him. My first impression of him was that he looked really cute! Plus he stayed really near me! Ours was definitely a whirlwind romance, considering how he proposed in less than a year! Of course, maybe to the rest of the world, he probably gained abit more weight(just like me), but to me, he looks exactly how he looked like 5 years ago. ♥♥♥

Anyway, there are much more about him than just being cute. Like he cooks fantastic Italian cuisine(his lasagna is the bomb!) . Like how he is usually quick to apologise. Like how he always tries his best to make sure that I get things that I really want. Like how he tells me that I am so beautiful despite my additional weight. Like how he wants to hug me almost all the time. Like how he will offer to peel the prawn shells for me. Like how he loves my family and friends. Like how he promises me that our future together will be better… Well, there are bad days but most days are usually good.

Here we are, on our third journey, with two beautiful children. Fancy dinners and late night movies are much lesser. We watch much more children programs and cater our days to entertaining the kids. It is a different type of happiness compared to our dating days. It feels much more fulfilling even though there are real exhausting and exasperating moments.

So, here we are, with Lil’ Ryan and Baby Gillian:

DSC04886-1

DSC04887-1(As you can see, it is amazingly difficult to get a family photo taken. Kids….)

***

We went for a buffet dinner at Olive Tree. This time round, we decided to bring Baby Ryan Lil’ Ryan along and leave Baby Gillian with my parents. The buffet spread was fantastic! The drunken prawns were so huge and juicy! And I got the privilege of E peeling the prawns for me.

Our lil Ryan had an awesome time running around the restaurant. Thankfully there were not too many patrons around that evening. (Note to self: Never wear heels every when I need to carry a 15kg baby around Bugis.)

DSC04889-1

DSC04893-1

DSC04892-1

****

DSC04901-1

So, to my dearest Mister E, Happy Number 3!
ilu.

****

2nd Wedding Anniversary

19 June 2012

Surprise dinner was at Ao-Chan! I actually thought E would bring me to somewhere expensive and pretentious because he was going on and on about some chic restaurant that I do not think would rate highly in terms of food quality. (I do not really want a repeat of 2011 anniversary…)

So yay! Dinner was yakiniku. I love my beef. Anyway, it is my first time eating raw beef and I am so glad that it was at Ao Chan. The raw beef was just awesome! AWE-SOME! The meal was so awesome that after we finished our first order of meat, we had to order another plate of beefy goodness. Just looking at the pictures now make me salivate!

I love the place so much that I will be making E treat me to dinner there more often! ❤

****

And of course, E bought me something for our anniversary. Definitely not as expensive as before… Boohoo! But at least they are things that I need to replace my old Cath Kidson sling and Coach purse. Anyhoots, thank you, Mister E! They will come in useful for our trip in Bali!

*****

This picture is taken on our wedding day.
It is one of my favourite pictures taken that night.

You know how E promised me a set of promises 2 years ago,
I am really thankful how he is still standing by them.

If you are wondering, here are the 10 promises:

I, Eugene Yap promise to:

1. Remember that I am your husband and that I love you. I will be kind to you.

2. Never belittle you in any way, nor will I attack people who are dear to you.

3. Apologise more often, even if the hurt was unintentional. I know that since we are different people, it will be impossible not to hurt you at times. I will take the responsibilty of, say ‘I am sorry,’ and not accuse you of being overly sensitive.

4. Focus more often on your strengths and your positives and try not to nit pick/

5. Not tell you what your feelings are; they belong to you. I will trust with my feelings. I allow myself to be vulnerable at times, even when this is difficult.

6. Never underestimate the power of small gestures, the special smile, the note, the small gift, the loving word.

7. Treat you with respect at all times. My actions, tone of voice, facial gestures and words will all reflect this solemn commitment.

8. Make our marriage a priority. I will find some time everyday to spend with you alone.

9. Not use silence as a weapon. I will tell you that you hurt me. I will not bury it, making believe it is okay. I will take courage in my hands to talk to you.

10. Smile more and laugh more with you. Even when I am tired, so tired and overwhelmed by work and pressure, I will look to laugh with you.

I love you, Mister E!

*****